THE SPORTSMAN
by
Peter Clark

From 'Foulsham's Humorous stories & Recitations' (1938)

'I want a brace of partridges,'
Said the sporty-looking man.
'And let me have the finest pair
That you absolutely can.'
The shopman, all apologies,
Regretted he had none.
He'd just this minute sold the last.
He hadn't even one.

The sporty chap glanced round a bit.
"Have you," said he, "a hare?
I'd like one really champion,
Its cost - I do not care."
Again, the shopman had to say
He hadn't hares to sell.
"Perhaps," he added, "something else
Would do equally well."

"Now, what about a nice pork-pie?"
The shopman suavely said.
"We have some very tasty ones."
The sportsman shook his head.
"You're daft," the latter said in pique.
"We all can tell a lie,
But how could I go home and say
I'd shot a nice pork-pie?"