Stan Brown
It were Ernies turn for t' fire watch,
Up at Arkroyds Mill.
An' jus' as it were goin' dark,
'E set off up the 'ill.

It were time for t' blackout,
As Ernie neared the top.
An' 'e 'ad t' switch 'is torch on,
T' check that it were off.

Now Ernie weren't the brightest spark,
T' say 'e was would be a fib.
Cos 'e 'adn't enough braincells,
T' play a game o' crib.

As Ernie got to Arkroyds,
Jus' the Moonlight shone.
So 'e turned 'is torch back off again,
T' see if it were on.

Down the stairs 'e stumbled,
Keepin' t' the right.
Tryin' t' find the boiler room,
T' spend the rest o' night.

Now Ernie were a grafter,
An' 'e filled it up wi' coke.
The flames shot out the chimney,
Every time 'e poked.

The bombers were arrivin',
An' saw the chimney glow.
So they dropped the lot on Arkroyds Mill,
Which were jus' below.

At eight 'o' clock next mornin',
Ernie came up through the floors.
An' checked 'is torch were off again,
Before openin' up the doors.

The place were filled wi' rubble,
Jus' the chimney stack remained.
Old Arkroyd pointed Ernie out.
''E's the one t' blame!'

'Why'd y' never warn us?
Y' could of sent a wire!'
'I can't do everythin' at once,
I were Watchin' Bloody Fire!!!'
The end