He could see I was puzzled, and started to chuckle,
He said, "I just want to get back me bird."

I said. "Bird?" He said. Bird, but don't say a word,
I'll be in bother," he said. "If you do.
I bought it last week, from light fingered Pete,
ten quid, for a green cockatoo."

I said. "A green cockatoo?" He said. "Aye, from the zoo,
didn't you see it last week on the news?
Headlines in the Chron'. RARE PARROT IS GONE!"
But, by now I was getting confused.

I said. "I'm losing the plot, there's some bits I've not got,
"A rare parrot?" he said. "almost extinct."
I said, "Explain it once more, cos I'm still not too sure,
I've maybe had too much to drink."

"Settle down," muttered Fred, "and listen," he said.
"Rare parrot, nicked last Thursday night.
I bought it off Pete, ten quid so to speak,
and now it's sat up on the light."
  "I've got that." I said, "but why on your head?
Cage's are not very dear."
"I've got one," said Fred, "at home in me shed,
I'm just waiting to get the all clear."

I said. "The all clear from who?" He said. "Pete at the zoo!
Aren't you listening?" But me brain had gone numb.
"They're searching," he said, "the cops and the feds,
if they catch us, we're gonna get done."

"So the parrot," said Fred, "must stay on me head,
he were adamant, was Pete about that.
He said, to not say a word, don't mention the bird.
AND, TO JUST KEEP IT UNDER ME HAT!


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