An' Plod started blowin 'is whistle,
in descant it were, - sort o' style.

"Bloody 'ell!" Shouted Plod, when 'e'd finished,
"They do make one 'ell of a row.
You'll need them decibels countin',
so there's nowt I can do 'ere right now."

So we went an' got Albert the teacher,
e'd got 'is brains like from Yale.
An' 'e rigged up this earthquake type meter,
an' the bugger went right off the scale.

Well we asked 'em again, right politely,
said the noise were now more than a joke.
"Bugger Off!" Shouted Bill, with 'is fist in the air,
so we did, - well 'e was a big bloke.

It were Light Fingered Ron from th'allotments,
said. "I'll bring 'em down to their knees.
I'll break into th'ouse an' take th'oompah
an' I'll pinch all the white bloody keys!"

Now, true to 'is word Ron 'ad done it.
an' the Oompah were 'id in the park.
But Alice jus' wouldn't be thwarted,
an' played the piano on t' side like an 'arp!
  Then all at once they were flittin',
said they didn't want neighbours like us.
Who stopped 'em from playin' their music,
an' they left with an 'iss, an' a cuss.

Archie MaKay were next tenant,
the vicar from church down the road.
So we all doffed us caps, as you do like,
an' offered to 'elp 'im unload.

"That's awfully nice." Sez the vicar.
"I'll remember you all in me prayers.
There's 'undred pipes there on the wagon,
can you 'elp bung 'em up through the stairs?"

" 'Undred pipes? - Now what yer want them for?"
We asks 'im polite so t' speak.
"It's for church organ, when they bring me the keyboard,
I practice it six days a week."

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