So, t' lad looked around at the bottles an' jars,
An' found one that said "Pickled Frogs Legs."
The bloke jumped to 'is feet. "It's from Napoleons retreat,
She might like it on a butty," 'e said.

The lad put 'em back down, an' bloke give 'im this skull,
"That's Dick Turpins when they cut off 'is 'ead".
"It looks a bit small?" Said the lad right enthralled,
"It's when 'e were a lad." The bloke said.

So t' lad looked some more, at mummified 'ands,
Stuffed parrots an' two 'eaded cats.
Old ancient scrolls, an' tweezers for boils.
Dried bed bugs an' moth eaten caps.

"There's more out the back", said the bloke t' the lad,
"C'mon an' I'll show yer the way.
There's gotta be summat yer'd like for yer mam,"
The lad shrugged, an' jus' said, "o.k."

Well, t' back yard were filled wi' much o' the same,
Like 'andles, that were missin' a mop.
Dolls wi' no 'eads, an' a few rusty beds,
When 'is eyes sort o' spotted this rock.
  Now, stuck out the top, were the grip off a sword,
"It's stuck!" Said the bloke with a shout.
"It were in a job lot, me great grand dad 'ad got,
An' I can't get the bugger back out."

The lad 'e jus' shrugged, an' 'e give it a tug,
Rolled 'is sleeves up an' tugged it some more.
Then' e gritted 'is teeth, an' planted 'is feet,
Right firmly, an' very secure.

"It's stuck!" Said the bloke, "stop actin' the goat,"
Then 'e swore, an' called 'im some names.
But t' bloke soon shut up, when a thunderclap struck,
An' the rock sort o' burst into flames.

Well, there were all sorts o' fireworks an' sparks that shot out,
Goin' Bang! Flash Wallop! Kerpew!
Then this woman shot out o' this puddle.
"Bloody Nora!" t' bloke said, "who are you?"

"I'm the Lady O' T' Lake." She said with a sigh,
Like the bloke should o' known all along.
Then she dipped in 'er frock, an' whipped out a scroll,
That were tied with an old leather thong.

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