Then she started t' read some sort o' decree,
All verily's, foresooths an' gadzads.
"I don't wanna seem thick, but can yer slow down a bit?
What yer tryin t' say?" said the lad.

"Yer the King," t' woman said, pattin' 'is 'ead,
'E said, "the King?" She sez, "aye," 'e sez, "me?"
She sez, "aye," 'e sez, "why?" An' t' woman just sighed,
"'Cos you've set Excalibur free."

"Yer can eat owt yer like, maybe lightly boiled pike,
Roast pheasants, an' croissants of course."
'E said. "I'll stay as I am, an' live wi' me mam,
I like me chip butties an' sauce."

She said. "Well 'ow about clothes, like socks wi' no 'oles,
New sweat shirts t' look realy cool?"
'E said. "I like me old jeans, if yer know what I mean,
An' I'd look daft with a crown on at school."

"Oh do as yer please!" She said in a huff,
Then rummaged about in 'er bag.
"Just what I need, me cigs are all damp."
Then she said t' the bloke. "Got a fag?"
  Well, she quietened right down when she'd 'ad a quick drag,
An told t' lad. "I'm sorry t' shout.
But I've sat in that lake for 'undreds o' years,
Jus' waitin' for t' sword t' come out."

"Don't worry," 'e sez, "I've got me mams prez,
It's summat right useful," 'e told 'er.
Then 'e sez t' the bloke. "Will yer wrap up the sword?
She keeps sayin' 'ow she needs a new poker."


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