Stanley Holloway
You've 'eard of young Albert Ramsbottom, 
And Mrs. Ramsbottom, and Dad 
And the trouble the poor lion went through 
Trying to stomach the lad. 

Well, after the lion disgorged him 
Quite many a day 'ad gone by 
But the lion just sat there and brooded 
With a far away look in his eye. 

The keepers could do nowt wi' lion 
He seemed to be suffering pain. 
He seemed to be fretting for something 
And the curl all went out of his mane. 

It looked at its food and ignored it 
Just gazed far away into space. 
When keepers tried forcible feeding 
They got it all back in their face! 

And at Mr. and Mrs. Ramsbottom's
The same kind of thing had begun 
And though they tried all sorts of measures 
They couldn't rouse Albert, their son. 

Now Mr. Ramsbottom got fed up 
At trying to please him in vain. 
And said, "If you don't start to buck up 
I'll take you to lion again!" 

Now instead of the lad getting frightened 
And starting to quake at the knees,
He seemed to be highly delighted 
And shouted, "Oh Dad! If you Please!" 

His father thought he had gone potty. 
His mother went nearly insane. 
But Albert stood firm, and just bellowed, 
"I want to see lion again!" 

So Mr. and Mrs. Ramsbottom 
Decided the best thing to do 
Was to give way to Albert, and take him 
Straight-a-way back to the Zoo. 

The moment the lion saw Albert 
For the first time for weeks it had stirred 
It moved the left side of its whiskers 
Then lay on its back and just purred. 

And before anybody could stop him 
Young Albert were stroking his paws. 
And whilst the crowd screamed for the keepers 
The little lad opened its jaws. 

The crowd were completely dumfounded 
His mother was out, to the wide,
But they knew, by the bumps and the bulges
That Albert was once more inside. 

Then all of sudden, the lion 
Stood up and let out a roar 
And Albert, all smiling and happy, 
Came out, with a thud, on the floor. 

The crowd, by this time, were all cheering 
And Albert stood there looking grand 
With the stick with the horses-head handle 
Clutched in his chubby young hand. 

The lion grew so fond of Albert,
It couldn't be parted from lad. 
And so zoological keepers 
Sent round a note to his Dad: 

We regret to say lion is worried 
And pining for your little man 
So sending you lion tomorrow 
Arriving in plain covered van.

And if you should go 'round any evening 
When Albert has gone off to rest 
There's the lion, all tucked up beside him 
Asleep, with 'is 'ead on his chest.
The end