Sam Small at Westminster
written by
Stanley Holloway
You've 'eard of Sam Small, 'oo dropped musket,
On parade when ol' Boney 'eld sway.
Well, thanks to the 'monkey gland' treatment,
Old Sam is still with us, today.

'E went up by trip to Westminster,
A parliament sitting, to view.
They warned 'im, 'Say nowt!' so Sam nodded,
And parked 'is 'at under the pew.

But when chaps, they called opposition,
Started slatin' the government there,
Sam felt 'is blood broiling, all over,
'Nay, nay lads,' he shouts, 'let's be fair!'

By gum, but there were a commotion,
And speaker glared right 'round the 'all.
Then suddenly said, 'Dash me buttons,
Bust me, if it ain't ol' Sam Small!

We all ought to listen to Sam, lads,
From St. Annes to St. Stevens 'e's known.
'E's loyal to duty and country,
And 'e's on speaking terms with the throne.'

Said Sam, 'It don't need Nelson's spy-glass,
To see what this government's done. 
Unemployment they've brought down a million,
And they'll try 'ard to bring it to none.

They've tackled the slums and bad 'ousing,
And you'll soon be unable to see 'em.
For there won't be a slum in the country,
Well, maybe one in the British Museum.

They've worked for the peace of the world, lads,
To make wars and fighting, all stop,
And if they succeed with their good work,
I won't have no musket to drop.

No government ever, was perfect,
But the National's the best in the land.
So let them who thinks they'd do better,
Stop grousin' and lend 'em a 'and.

It's better to get on wi' summat,
Than promise the earth and the sea.
And so, if there's owt more that's wanted,
Well, you'll find me on terrace... at tea.' 
The end