Steve Morris

How's this for speedy contact?
Just seen your ad in Loot
It doesn't matter to me one bit
That you're balder than a coot

I find bald men quite cuddly
I was Kojak's biggest fan
Please tell me more about yourself
Kind regards, Joanne.

Dear fulfilment searcher
Or may I call you Clint?
It doesn't matter, not one jot
You've got that dreadful squint.

We each have inner beauty
Deep within the soul
And each of us is a child of God
Pure and sweet and whole

Dear Clint, just got your e-mail
Yes, it could be nice to meet

  But I'm busy for at least a month
So let’s just keep it sweet

I'm impressed with all your poetry
Where did you learn those rhymes?
The rude one made me laugh out loud
I've read it sixteen times

Dear Clint, you are so wicked
Your questions, they're so blunt
No, I've never had black underwear
That's see-through at the front

And I've never posed for Polaroids
I'm not that way inclined
When a lady reaches my age, well
She leaves those thoughts behind

Dear Clint, let's change the subject
Give the naughty stuff a rest
I'm too old for titillation
And those games that you suggest

I'm searching for a soulmate
For a life-long cosmic trip

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