KNICKER NIGHT AT THE LEGION
by
Steve Morris

If things're gettin' dull an' in a rut ya think yer stuck
Yer under the weather an' yer down on yer luck
An' ya want some entertainment that's as common as muck
Try Knicker Night, down at the Legion

If yer thinkin' that it’s time ya went out an' got a life
Yer gettin' brassed off wi' yer trouble 'n' strife
An ya'd like a bit o' passion wi' some other bugger's wife
Try Knicker Night, down at the Legion

Plenty of after-shave, the ladies like a whiff
Pay attention to yer finger nails an' don't forget yer quiff
Cos ya gotta look the business when yer goin' on the sniff
An' it’s Knicker Night, down at the Legion

The lager's always fizzy an' the music’s always loud
Ya can put yerself about a bit an' mingle wi' the crowd

  An' find yerself that bottle blonde who's rather well endowed
On Knicker Night, down at the Legion

P'raps ya'll get the come-on from that big lass name o' Belle
Rely on her to be discreet, she doesn't kiss an tell
An' don’t worry 'bout her husband, Frank, cos he joins in as well
After Knicker Night, down at the Legion

If yer not copped off bi closin' time, ya've maybe lost yer knack
Stagger home wi' a bag o' chips then tumble in the sack
To dream o' bein' tapped up by a nymphomaniac
On Knicker Night, down at the Legion

So if you ever get the urge to shock and to outrage
Have a night out on the razz an' flatten 'alf yer wage
Just stay at home ya silly sod an' act yer bloody age
Leave Knicker Night, down at the Legion


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