ADAM AND EVE
by Stephen Ogier Adam was taking a walk round the garden And his side it was feeling quite sore It was just as if someone had kicked him And Adam wasn't quite sure what for. He walked past the date palms and fig trees, Past the apple trees all in full bloom And headed on down to the river Thinking that God should be there quite soon. On reaching the bank of the river He debated, go swimming or not Although it was still only springtime He was feeling quite sweaty and hot. The water was cool and refreshing And the pain in his side washed away It was then that Adam decided That today would be a great day. From mid-river Adam then noticed That on riverbank God had arrived But he seemed to be busy at present So unhurried, he still swam and dived. Adam now felt much better and cooler So at last he headed for land Where he noticed that God was playing With a bone and a big pile of sand. "Morning, God. What you doing?" said Adam God just smiled, as he does, said, "You'll see. It won't take very much longer, Maybe two minutes or three." Seemed that God was building sand castles Though in form they were a strange shape Then God blew them, softly and slowly, While Adam stood staring, agape. It didn't take long, just an instant, And satisfied, God shortly stopped While Adam looked on in amazement Little knowing that his jaw had dropped. God smiled at what he'd created And said, "Adam, this here is Eve, She's for you to love and to cherish, And never to hurt or deceive." Adam thought, 'Wow, she's drop dead gorgeous, A buxom, curvaceous brunette.' Suddenly feeling quite tingly all over, His palms were beginning to sweat. God knew just what Adam was thinking, And he smiled, knowing his job was done. He said, "Adam, go show Eve the Garden, See you later, kids. Go and have fun! "Show Eve all the flora and fauna, But do not forget what I said, Don't eat the fruit of the apple trees, Or you may very well end up dead." God said, "Adam, I know what you're thinking." Adam grinned and turned red in the face. God said, "No need t'be embarrassed, Now you can start your own race." God said, "Go and have some adventures. I'll see you again in a while." Adam grinned, like a sheepish young school boy While Eve gave a wink and a smile. The couple went off into the garden And God he gave a small sigh He found something in Eve quite disturbing But really he wasn't sure why. Some months later, God was down at the river And somehow he knew something was wrong He hadn't seen Adam for a while now And he'd never been missing so long. It was just then that out from the bushes Adam and Eve did appear Eve, she was looking triumphant; Adam grinning from ear to ear. God looked at the pair in amazement "What's with the fig leaves?" he asked. "And why such a strong smell of apples?" "It's the snake's fault," Eve stammered at last. "The snakes fault?" gasped God, understanding, "I think that it's you, who's to blame. From your trickery, lies and deception You wear fig leaves to hide your shame." "It was only an apple," said Adam "The snake said it was good for our health, "An apple a day keeps the doctor away, And creates social status and wealth." "Don't be daft," God said to Adam, "Social status and wealth don't exist, And I'll have to expel you from Eden If with this foolishness you choose to persist. "I told you to not eat the apples, So why trust a snake in the grass?" "You lied to us," Eve interrupted, Adding, "and Eden's a bit of a farce!" "Lied to you?" God raged, now angry, "What did I say that's untrue?" "You said that the apples would kill us, But here we are, good as new!" God couldn't believe what he was hearing, Why should he try to explain That death was now as sure as taxes, Following long years of pain? "Well, I guess you've both made your choices, And since you think Eden's a farce I have no choice, but to expel you, So now you're out on your arse!" The couple then left the garden, God's last word in their ears still rang And as they crossed the Euphrates They heard the gates close with a clang. It was soon after that they discovered Unlike apples, money don't grow on trees And they both had to work for a living Till they were old and full of disease. They found life on the outside not easy They'd had family troubles as well One son was good, but the other How he'd end up no one could tell. They still sometimes thought about Eden And how pride had led them astray And sometimes regretted their paradise lost And hoped there'd not be Hell to pay. In the end, they both died as was foretold But at least their lesson they'd learned, An apple a day keeps the doctor away But trust snakes and you'll surely get burned.
The end