ARISE, SIR SYD
by John Slater It were t'morning of Her Majesty's birthday And Syd were opening his mail He opened a letter from London He read it and then turned quite pale It said that how he were gradely And had always done as was bid The Queen had conferred him a Knighthood He would now be entitled Sir Syd Down t'palace I went with our Sydney To receive the prestigious award No skimping on our 2 nights in London Not Bed and Breakfast, but upmarket, half board! We went up t'palace for t'knighthood And t'flunky took us into a room The ceremony, the happenings and proceedings Were meticulously explained by this groom Into t'throne room we eventually entered And Her Majesty looked at me with unease Then she burst into a smile when I told her That I'd brought her some tripe and black peas Syd went over and knelt down before her Holding t'sword she said arise Sir Syd But he stayed knelt down, quite motionless He hadn't got up when she'd bid Then Her Majesty repeated the command to him Thinking that Syd hadn't heard He stayed down in front of the Sovereign Arise she said for the third I quickly went over to t'Sovereign And explained that our motionless gent Had only worked for t'local skinflint So he didn't know what arise meant!!
The end