My job as a toilet attendant
Is one I am proud to have done.
The role was passed down in the family,
From grandfather, on to his son
From father, it came as it should do,
To me as his son and his heir
And I have been faithful in service
Fulfilling my tasks with all care!
But how things have changed in my lavvy
They're just not the same as before!
If I tell you what happens here daily
You'll think I am lying, I'm sure.
The drunks after drinking their lager
Come in just to pee up the walls
They leave all my lovely clean tiling
Just looking like Niagara falls!
We get our fair share of the perverts
Who loiter around in the dark
Some strange politician from Wales
Who thinks it's a bit of a lark!
And then there's the druggies and crack-heads
Intent upon getting a kick
They fill up the toilets with needles
Quite frankly it makes me feel sick!
So when someone comes in the toilet
(As some people do, to be fair)
And uses it, as it s intended,
Then it is a breath of fresh air!