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THE BRUMMIES COME TO RHYL
by
Ivan Bennett

The kids of Rhyl in the 60's
Liked nothing better than to go
And stand on the Vale Road Bridge
And watch the arrivals below.

The bridge overlooks the station
And the kids enjoyed looking for
Day trippers and holiday makers
Arriving on trains by the score.

They hoped to be helpful to those that were staying
And they sometimes made a few bob
By carting tourists luggage off to their digs
Although sometimes they tired of the job.

It was then that they'd seek some amusement
And a laugh could be had - as they knew -
By following day trippers from th' excursions
That come in via Chester and Crewe.

One particular day an excursion,
From Birmingham, arrived and it bore
A family who'd boarded at New Street
Dad, mum, daughter and son - that makes four.

Pa was the first to step off the train
He was dressed in his new Sunday best
On his feet he wore brand new sandals
And for the beach he had on a clean vest.

Mother was next on the platform
Best frock and new shoes on her feet
Carrying two large shopping bags
Full of sandwiches and flasks for a treat.

The daughter was quite a skinny affair
She read a magazine and chewed gum
She looked as if she didn't want to be there
In fact she wished she was back home in Brum.

Next was young Billy as stout as can be
Who got stuck in the door of the train
The inner-tube he wore round his middle didn't help
And he cried to his mother in pain.

Soon up Bodfor Street the four of them trot
Followed at a discreet yard or two
By the local kids out for a laugh
But our Brummies they hadn't a clue.

Well first of all dad sneaked off to the pub
And Mother had the kids in tow
Billy was screaming he wanted some rock
Mother decided for a cream tea they'd go.

So after the caf' (and the 'swift pint')
The Promenade beckoned them hither
The slot machines took all of Pa's change
And Pa's enthusiasm started to wither.

Now time to buy, at the shop on the Prom,
The rock, for which the seaside is made,
A sugar dummy and false teeth for Billy,
As well as a bucket and spade.

On they went to the Esplanade
Hiring a bike from the man in the white coat
With a satchel slung over one shoulder
In which he carried his 'float'.

Riding the bike that had the least rust
Round the gravel track Billy did dash
Skidding and sliding before falling off
Leaving Billy with severe gravel-rash.

Down to the beach the family went
Ma spread out a cloth on the sands
But she struggled handing out butties
Because of the sand on her hands.

Dad knotted a hanky to plonk on his head
The daughter switched on her new 'tranny'
Mother just cursed and cursed at the sand
Which was in all of her nooks and - er - cranny

Billy by now had decided
He wanted to go off for a paddle
So he pulled his inner-tube over his tum
And off to the sea he did waddle.

He sat in the sea and started
To float out into Liverpool Bay
First one then two then three hundred yards
Which really is quite a long way.

The Coastguard saw what was happening
And the Lifeboat Station he rang
The Coxswain let off a couple of rockets
Which went off with a bloody big bang!!!

Mother said to Pa: 'Where's our Billy?
Where did he say he was going to play?
They're launching the Lifeboat and not only that
He's missing the fireworks display!'

Meanwhile Billy, looking back to the shore
Started crying and his eyes they did brim
Not because he was drifting out to sea
But 'cos the fireworks had started bout him!

Those Rhyl kids from the 1960's
Still laugh today at Billy's mishap
And how, once ashore, his mother hugged him
Before giving his bum a good slap!

 
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