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CRISIS AT THE SPERM BANK
by
Godfrey Schmidt

There was a crisis this week at the Sperm Bank
They nearly ran right out of stock
The Chief Banker gathered his colleagues
His face full of panic and shock

'We desperately need to find donors!
We must seek them out from near and far,
If this ever gets out to the papers, they'll say
What a sad bunch of Bankers we are!'

'We need quickly to do some recruiting,
We must disseminate the nub of our plight.'
Then a voice from the rear says: 'We inseminate here!
What you said somehow doesn't seem right!'

Then the Deputy bangs on the table
'We'll go immediately down to the docks
Wearing sandwich boards saying "Seamen Wanted"
I'm sure they'd come over in flocks!'

'Or maybe go down to the Industrial Estate,
The Bread Factory sounds a good spot.
There might be some good Master Bakers
Who are willing to give it a shot!'

Then the voice from behind shouts:
'I've got it! Why don't we donate some ourselves?'
But the Chief Banker frowns, disapproving
Saying: 'It would get sticky if somebody tells.'

I can just imagine the headlines:
"Cock Up as Sperm Bank runs short"
'Surely there'd be more than one!' says the voice,
'I thought that we'd all join the plot.'

The Chief Banker gave him a withering look
And said 'It's clear that you don't understand.
We can't make donations ourselves, willy-nilly
We need others to take it in hand!'

'I know that we're stuck, with our backs to the wall,
And we desperately need to get stock
But, donate it ourselves? We couldn't do that!
There's no need to go off half cock!'

'So we'll try the original suggestions -
To the Docks then the Bakery plant!'
And he cringes to hear, from the voice at the rear:
'I can come too - if you want!!'

 
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