It were Christmas eve at the Babcock's,
And Eddie were tucked up in bed,
His mother had towd him to go straight to sleep
and pull t'covers up o'er his 'ead.
If he didn't go 'bye byes' directly,
Father christmas wouldn't come near,
Eddie thowt this were childish and soppy,
So pretended that he didn't hear.
He lay awake hour by hour,
Rigid, not daring to stray,
Straining his ear 'oles in case he could hear
Father Christmas arriving ont' sleigh.
A feeling was building inside him,
He felt all excited, and how,
He'd forgotten to go to the toilet before,
But, by gum... he wanted to now.
He rolled and he squirmed and he mumbled,
And crossed his legs hard as he could.
He gritted his teeth and crossed both his eyes,
But that were'nt a ha'peth of good.
He fell out of bed and he rolled on the floor,
With his legs still encased in the sheet.
He was moaning and groaning and feeling quite sore,
But he managed to undo his feet.
He jumped down the landing and then down the stairs,
Like a sack race contestant wi' grief.
He bounced through the door and then straight down the yard,
Where he blissfully gained his relief!
Wi' a look of contentment and a smile on his face,
He made his way down to his room,
But on passing his Ma and Pa's bedroom he found,
Pa was standing there all gloom and doom.
'I'm sorry to say this' said Pa looking glum,
'But Santa's not visiting thee'.
Young Eddie looked puzzled and said 'What d'ya mean',
And Pa said 'It's like this you see'.
'The factory place where I work has shut down',
So I haven't no money, mi lad',
But there's allus next year, so don't be concerned.
Try not to take it so bad.
Then Eddie, wi' tears welling up in his eyes,
Said, 'I don't mind Pa, Who cares!
But just then they heard, to their great surprise,
Someone messing about down the stairs.
Pa then grabbed Eddie and held him in front,
As they both made their way down below.
When they entered the parlour they both stood and stared,
And Pa said, 'Well, what do you know!'
They shouted to Mother, who came running down,
She stood all agog, and then fainted.
There were presents and soot all over the place,
And the parlour had not long been painted.
They cheered and they laughed, and Eddie ran round,
To each present and began to unwrap 'em,
Then Pa turned to Ma, who was still on the floor,
And said, 'Blimey!... how did this thing happen?'
Eddie had got a new soldier and gun,
And a fort and a Teddy called 'Ted';
A drum and a car and a curious thing...
'Twas a pot that goes under his bed!