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THE GAME OF THE NAME
by
Monty Wells

When little lads get Christened
It's a great family affair
But unthinking parents
Give their kids a cross to bear

They give them names of film stars
Or relations of the wife
And offspring's stuck with funny names
That last them all their life

One poor lad I know of
Born many years ago
Was named after his father
So his first name was Hugo

His mum once won that pancake race
Her one big claim to fame
In that Buckinghamshire village
So Olney was his second name.

Grandad had his say in this
An avid football fan
And Matthews was his idol
So the kids third name was Stan

Mum wanted something 'Biblical'
To show the strength of men
And decided upon Daniel
As 'In the lions den'

His Great Aunt Flo. A G.I. bride
Then put in her spoke
With Yankee pride said "Call him Dwight
After that Eisenhower bloke"

So out of church was carried
Into the bright sunlight
Newly christened Hugo. Olney
Stanley, Daniel, Dwight.

When H.O.S.D.D. grew up
He had to get some work
And ended up in a Post Office
As a counter clerk

On a busy Monday morning
Folk queued with pension books
And chaps who wanted car tax
Gave each other dirty looks

'Cos just one clerk was serving
And it was plain to see
That one was not Hugo
He just sat there drinking tea

An irate lady said to clerk
"Look at this length of queue
Are you alone to deal with this?
There should at least be two!"

The harassed clerk shrugged ruefully
And indicated to his mate
"No" he said, "He also serves...
Hugh Olney Stan. Dan. Dwight!"

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Subtle huh?! Yes, it took me a couple of minutes to see it.
'They also serve who only stand and wait'
the last line of John Milton's 'On His Blindness' -Paul.

 
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