Harry and Cliff Beevers

Submitted by Andrew Haines

"It was written approximately 43 years ago, and was recently
re-discovered in Harry's loft... "

The brightest boy at Highfield School
Was small and puny Joseph Poole,
He studied Maths from morn till night
And always got his mental right.
He'd spend vacations up at Lytham
Solving graph and logarithm
If twelve men dug two deep canals...
He'd work it out with decimals
And though no good at French or Art
At Algebra was very smart.
He'd spend six hours on long equation
Sharpening his education..
At twelve he'd done the syllabus,
A proper little genius.
The time then came for Joseph Poole
To choose a job on leaving school,
Hard it was for him to pick it
And then he said, "I'll take up cricket".
All his friends in consternation
Thought it a waste of education
But Joe ignoring cries of "Shame"
Set out to learn his chosen game,
And working to a rigid plan
Soon made the grade as sixteenth man.
But little chance there seemed to be
Of playing for the M.C.C.
Then one July his dream came true,
The bowlers all struck down with 'flu
"Young Joseph Poole", the paper reads,
"will play in Yorkshire's match at Leeds".
For Joe it was a happy day,
His chance to bowl at Peter May.
The captain said "Now come on Joe,
Take off your cap and have a go".
So using his Arithmetic
Joe gave the ball a mighty flick
That sent the ball to deep square leg
Then broke and hit the middle peg.
The next one aimed at cover point
Put all the wickets out of joint.
A hat-trick now was Joseph's plan
As in came Surrey's finest man.
The crowd looked on with bated breath
The batsman watched half scared to death
As Joseph did a calculation
Then bowled 'mid cries of acclamation.
The ball swerved left and then to right
Towards the bails in winged flight
Then from the crowd a fearful shout,
The England skipper, May, was out.
Shock after shock for after this
Just hear young Joe's analysis,
He took ten wickets for one run,
The match was over, Yorkshire won.
Then came Joseph's great decision
He'd join the U.S. lunar mission
No longer one of Yorkshire's stars,
He aims to be the first to Mars.

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