LITTLE BLUE PILL
I'm still having sex in me fifties
I never imagined I would,
just the thought of two old people at it
once would have curdled my blood.
Now that that age is upon me
I still need the good loving touch,
of a woman who says she adores me
but lately I haven't had much.
When I think back to when I was twenty
how I often made love with my wife,
'til along came a dog and two children
that sort of took over our live.
By thirty she'd invested in plastic
it proved a reliable friend,
for me and my twice monthly duties
that Rabbit had signalled the end.
By forty she'd up and she'd left me
for a waiter the age of our son,
she'd found a young toy boy to play with
and gone for some fun in the sun.
Rather than dwell on my sorrows
or cry in my beer late at night,
I decided to try on-line dating
well I'd only a profile to write.
Quite soon I was chatting to someone
and I offered to take her for tea,
my wit and my charm were still working
because she couldn't wait to agree.
That night as I lay on my pillow
strange notions popped into my head,
it had been such a time since I used him
I wondered if Percy was dead.
Well I showed him a picture of Lulu
and one of a girl in a basque,
I tickled and tug and I teased him
but he just wasn't up to the task.
I begged and I prayed and I pleaded
and I hoped to get any response,
my god was a bleedin disaster
he never responded not once.
I went to the doctors next morning
embarrassed and blushing was I,
he listened, all knowing, then added
take these mate and give 'em a try.
We met on the seafront that Sunday
and we both had a whale of a time,
as the sun set beyond the horizon
I offered to take her to mine.
The moment of truth was upon me
then I could tell from the glint in her eye,
as my boxers fell down round my ankles
old Percy had reached for the sky.
We both fell asleep so contented
after we'd done it again and again,
she must have thought she'd hit the jackpot
and found the most virile of men.
The lesson to learn if there is one
is that at fifty it's possible still,
to make love every day like a Rabbit
with the help of that Little Blue Pill.