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OOR MACBETH
by
Amiel Schotz

Noo, Duncan wuz the King o' Scots, a lang lang time ago,
An' he sent his toughest fighting man to battle 'gainst the foe.
This chap wuz cau'd Macbeth-he had the title "Thane o' Glams",
An' he whupped the opposition, wearin' brand new Nicky Tams.
But when he was coming hame again, he got a fearfu' fright,
'Cos on that day so foul and fair, he saw a grisly sight,
Three sisters weird confronting him-he gave a woefu' groan,
'Til they said he'd win promotion and wud even get the throne.

When the first half of the prophecy came true in half a mo',
Macbeth he started wondring if the next bit wuz a go.
Then he made a fatal error-cos he went and told his squaw,
And the thought o' being queen completely drove her up the wa'.
So when Duncan came to stay the night, she saw the chance was handy.
She forced Macbeth to dae the deed-fit Duncan up right dandy.
He kilt the king and both his guards, but then shook like a reed,
'Til Lady M said, "Poof, a little water's aw' we need."

Oh Macbe-eth, its so scary
Oh Macbeth, ye'd best be wary,
Oh Macbeth, beware ambition,
It'll send ye mad and then condemn ye tae perdition.

Noo-oo when Macbeth usurped the throne, he didna have it easy,
'Cos the thought o' aw' his rivals drove him paranoid an' queasy,
An' he couldna sleep for worry 'bout the steps he ought or oughter,
So tae feel a wee bit safer he began a right old slaughter.
He tried tae dae Macduff, but only got his kids and wife,
His old pal Banquo wuz the next tae leave this vale o' strife.
But when Mac held a banquet, fur tae play the jolly host,
He took a scunner fit when he saw Banquo's horrid ghost.

Oh Macbe-eth, seein' double,
Hubble-Bubble Toil an' Trouble.
Oh Macbeth, yer goin' down,
Uneasy lies the head that wears a bloody stolen crown.

By now, led on by bold Macduff, the Scots were up in arms,
Then Mrs M went aff her heid-her conscience gave her qualms.
Still, Mac took comfort in the witches' promise that his reign
Would never end til' Burnam Wood had cam tae Dunsinane.
But as he strolled upon the castle wa', tae tak his ease,
There, through the mist advancing cam a fearfu host o' trees,
He saw the game was up, but just tae prove that he wuz tough,
He roared, "Lay on Macduff and curst be he who cries, 'Enough'".

Oh Macbeth, yer tale is done,
Oh Macbeth, ye had yer fun,
An' listeners aw'-fur one time only,
Ye heard the tale in Scots wi' no Shakespearean baloney.

 
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