PENNY FORUM
by
Monty Wells

There's a Ladies and Gents toilet
On a little open space
Next to 'The Kings Head' boozer
Which seems the proper place

The 'Gentlemen's' attendant
A dapper little man
Rejoices in the name of, yes
Of course, you've guessed it. Dan.

On the distaff side, the 'Ladies'
There's an attendant too
With a name to fit her job
She was christened Lou

And on hot summer evenings
At their doors they'd stand and chat
And over months true love bloomed forth
I'm not surprised at that

And then one night in autumn
Dan so shyly blushed
To her he popped the question
And poor Lou too looked flushed

And so into the evening
His humble suit he pressed
'Til modest Lou sighed heavily
And quietly acquiesced

And everyone who passed that way
Knew of this love affair
Orange blossom mixed with Harpic
Scented all the air

After they were wedded
I met them looking glum
Dan said Lou was thinking
Of going home to Mum

I asked him what had gone awry
What caused this awful plight
And Dan said there'd been trouble
From that first nuptial night

It seems they took it literally
(I'd thought they'd have more sense)
Council told them they should honeymoon
At their own convenience!