PERCY THE PIRATE
by Colin West When people think of pirates, They think of strapping men With cutlasses and whiskers, And names like Jake or Ben. But Percy was a pirate More fearsome than the rest, Although he had no muscles Or hairs upon his chest. For Percy's secret weapon No brute could ever beat, He never was without it -- His pair of smelly feet. When he was out marauding, His foes he would out-fox By rapidly removing His boots, and then his socks. And then he'd do a handstand And wave his feet aloft, And so upon the ozone The whiff would gently waft. His victims' eyes would water, Their noses, they would sniff, Then forcefully the fellows Would catch the pungent whiff. And falling down like nine-pins, They'd all be knocked out cold, Then Percy would relieve them Of jewellery and gold. Yes, Percy was the pirate No brute could ever beat, Who owned a ton of treasure Thanks soley to his feet.
The end