PITMAN'S REDUNDANCY PAY
by Bill Sables Now Jonty Broon the pit man was off to work one morning He got his bait and pit boots as the day was still just dawning He put on his cap and left the house, met his mates out in the street They didn't know the shock they'd get before they came home that neet. 'Cos as they walked into the yard they heard the buzzers call And saw a great big notice, it was plastered on the wall It was put there by the coal board, "They were very sorry but Due to economic pressures, the pit had got to shut" Some said they'd go to Nottingham, some leave the pit for good But Jonty sat there thoughtful like and said to Tommy Judd I've been involved in pitwork all my married life And the hardest part of all of this is how to tell the wife. So he went and told his missus it was very hard to say But she said, "Now divent worry man, I've saved for a rainy day Ye knaa up in the wardrobe I've got two biscuit tins Wey I've saved a bit of money in case the times got thin. Now we've been married fowerty years and I asked you when I was a bride Not to ever ask me what I had inside In all that time you've worked so hard through strikes and war torn years And never once have you asked me what was in them tins upstairs. Wey now that things have altered I think it's time I said What I've kept in them biscuit tins we've kept beside the bed " They opened up the first tin and lifting up the lid Found shillings, two bobs and half croons, there was nearly fifty quid He asked her where it had come from did you keep it from my pay She said every time they had made love she put half a croon away A tear filled that old pit man's eye he broke down and he said "If I'd known that forty years ago, I'd have brought you all my trade." But then he got the other tin and laid it on the floor Inside he found two chicken eggs and ten thousand pounds or more He said, "Now this is funny, this thing has got me foxed, I just can't fathom out why these eggs are in this box." She said, "Sometimes I got lonely when you were doon the pit Wey I mebbies was unfaithful, but just a little bit Now every time it happened I put an egg away Ye knaa just a little token to remind me of that day." Now Jonty thought that's only twice that she has gone astray And thought of all the many times that he had played away So he said he would forgive her 'cos she was a canny wife But how come all that money, I've never earned that in my life! She said, "You think I didn't knaa that you've been with other wimmen I've listened to the gossip man, I knaa that you've been sinning Now for all that money in the tin I think ye should be grateful 'Cos I used te gan and sell the eggs every time I had a crate full."
The end