ROBERT THE BRUCE
by
Stephen Ogier

Robert the Bruce were a Scottish king
Wot lived inside a cave
With a big black 'airy spider
So 'e must've been quite brave.

Now although 'e were a king an' all
'E 'ad troubles with 'is neighbours
So 'e used to call them "Sasser-nacks"
An' 'e granted them no favours.

But this just got 'em angry
An' nasty schemes they planned
To rob our Bob of all 'e 'ad
'Is kingdom an' 'is land.

So our Bob 'e fought some battles
But 'e didn't 'ave much luck
The Sasser-nacks didn't fight fair
An' 'e landed in the muck.

An' after each of 'is attempts
'E went back to 'is cave
An' 'e tried to think of ways in which
'Is kingdom 'e could save.

But our Bob got quite discouraged
'Cause 'e thought 'e couldn't win
An 'e thought it might be better
If 'e decided to give in.

Then one day 'e watched 'is spider
As its ragged web it spun
An' though it kept on fallin' off
It kept goin' till it won.

Well 'e watched an' watched for hours
Then 'e rushed to tell 'is men
That if at first you don't succeed
Just try an' try again.

So they 'ad another battle
An' I think this time they won
An' they beat the dreaded Sasser-nacks
An' they kept 'em on the run.

Then they said 'e were an 'ero
An' they said that 'e were brave
But in fact it were the spider
Wot lived inside 'is cave.