STANLEY AND THE LIFEBOAT
by Carolyn D. Tyson Stanley had bought him a cottage In t' North Yorkshire village of Steer's He'd often come up for a weekend In fact, he'd been coming for years He came here on day trip's in t' sixties A little lad playing on t' beach And fishing for fish off the jetty Though t' fish always stayed out of reach Anyhow, Stan got to doing some thinking He'd sell up in t' town and move 'ere Like I said, he'd bought him a cottage A boat and some new fishing gear He signed up to help on the Lifeboat He bought him a new Bretton cap Some oil-skins and yellow souwester A Guernsey, gum boots and a cat Now t' first night he'd stopped in his cottage He'd just been one hour in bed When he heard such a bang from the lifeboat flare And of seagull's that screeched overhead He leapt out of bed in an instant He'd barely got onto his feet And dressed in his gum boots, his undies and vest He set off to run down the street! He legged it down Church Street to t' bottom He took a sharp left at 'The Cod' Not thinking for one waking moment His attire might be thought of as odd The curtains in t' houses were twitching And Edith, a lovely old dear At the sight of poor Stanley in undies and vest Took a turn and came over all queer!! Undeterred, he set forth over t' cobbles Turning right, he crossed over the beck But being so unused to his brand-new gum boots He tripped and darn near broke his neck He got to his feet and kept running But the Lifeboat men just took a vote There were six men had got there before him And poor Stanley had missed t' Bloody boat!!
The end