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STANLEY AND THE LIFEBOAT
by
Carolyn D. Tyson

Stanley had bought him a cottage
In t' North Yorkshire village of Steer's
He'd often come up for a weekend
In fact, he'd been coming for years
He came here on day trip's in t' sixties
A little lad playing on t' beach
And fishing for fish off the jetty
Though t' fish always stayed out of reach

Anyhow, Stan got to doing some thinking
He'd sell up in t' town and move 'ere
Like I said, he'd bought him a cottage
A boat and some new fishing gear
He signed up to help on the Lifeboat
He bought him a new Bretton cap
Some oil-skins and yellow souwester
A Guernsey, gum boots and a cat

Now t' first night he'd stopped in his cottage
He'd just been one hour in bed
When he heard such a bang from the lifeboat flare
And of seagull's that screeched overhead
He leapt out of bed in an instant
He'd barely got onto his feet
And dressed in his gum boots, his undies and vest
He set off to run down the street!

He legged it down Church Street to t' bottom
He took a sharp left at 'The Cod'
Not thinking for one waking moment
His attire might be thought of as odd
The curtains in t' houses were twitching
And Edith, a lovely old dear
At the sight of poor Stanley in undies and vest
Took a turn and came over all queer!!

Undeterred, he set forth over t' cobbles
Turning right, he crossed over the beck
But being so unused to his brand-new gum boots
He tripped and darn near broke his neck
He got to his feet and kept running
But the Lifeboat men just took a vote
There were six men had got there before him
And poor Stanley had missed t' Bloody boat!!

 
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