STANLEY TO THE RESCUE
by
Carolyn D. Tyson

Stanley had been here a month or two now
And thought he should try to fit in
He'd been down on t'beach helping chaps to dig worms
Till they told him his hook forth to sling!
The blokes all dug deep in their search for some bait
And chucked all their worms in a tin
But Stanley 'ad not got the hang of things yet
And t' daft sod were filling t'holes in!

Rejected by t' fisherman, Stan left the beach
And strolled round to sit on 't Garr End
He'd seen all th'old chaps sitting there of a night
And he hope that they all could be friends
Well firstly came Billy, then followed old John
And Arthur, and Eric, and George
And Stan passed a big bag of Humbugs all round
Very keen this new friendship to forge

Old George took an 'umbug and thanked Stan so much
And John took his teeth out to suck
They stuck to his dentures, if he kept 'em in
He'd tried it in t' past with no luck
He carefully placed 'em on t' top of the wall
It seemed a safe place for his teeth
'Till a ruddy great seagull mistook 'em for bread
And knocked 'em in t' watter beneath

In a flash Stan stood up, like a Jack-In-A-Box
And shouted out "Teeth Overboard"
He whipped off his trousers, his shoes and his socks
And made a quick prayer to the Lord
He climbed over t' railings and stood on the edge
Pinched his nose, held his breath and leapt in
In the icy cold water, that fair made 'im gasp
Stanley's search for the teeth did begin

Th'old chaps all stood round with a grudging respect
As they watched Stanley make this brave dive
They all feared the worst when no bubbles came up
And they doubted somehow he'd survive
But Stanley kept swimming round on the sea bed
Determined his mission to win
When he came face to face with a ruddy great cod
With a rather peculiar grin!!

Now a fish with a grin is a pretty fair catch
Thought Stanley, what would t'others say
If I went back to t' surface with just Johns false teeth
And I told 'em t' fish just got away
Stanley grabbed hold of t' cod, though it wriggled and squirmed
And he kept hold as tight as could be
Though ten minutes had passed and no sighting they'd had
Stanley bravely emerged from the sea

Though they'd all give up hope, they threw Stanley a rope
And hauled poor chap onto dry land
He'd got weed in his hair and a look of despair
But the cod held fair tight in his hand
They looked in disbelief at this fish with false teeth
Then they started to laugh out and grin
Though they all looked amazed, good Old John wasn't phased
And he just popped his dentures back in!!