THE VOYAGE OF THE BEAGLE
by
Andrew Vasey

The year was Eighteen Thirty-One,
The voyage had just begun;
A noble ship was sailing off
Towards the setting sun,
And distant watchers had to have
The eyesight of an eagle
To read the name out of the ship,
The one they called, "The Beagle".

After many months upon the sea
They managed, without loss,
To anchor by those fabled shores,
The Isles Galapagos.
Darwin quickly went ashore
With notebooks and with kit,
But after just five minutes there
He'd trodden in some ****.

"Oh, bally heck!" he shouted out,
"Someone's been here before us."
"Who could that be?" his helpers asked,
All questioning in chorus.
"I've no idea," replied the sage,
"But I'll not write any thesis
Until I've solved the mystery of...
The origin of the faeces!"