It were t'morning of Her Majesty's birthday
And Syd were opening his mail
He opened a letter from London
He read it and then turned quite pale

It said that how he were gradely
And had always done as was bid
The Queen had conferred him a Knighthood
He would now be entitled Sir Syd

Down t'palace I went with our Sydney
To receive the prestigious award
No skimping on our 2 nights in London
Not Bed and Breakfast, but upmarket, half board!

We went up t'palace for t'knighthood
And t'flunky took us into a room
The ceremony, the happenings and proceedings
Were meticulously explained by this groom

Into t'throne room we eventually entered
And Her Majesty looked at me with unease
Then she burst into a smile when I told her
That I'd brought her some tripe and black peas

Syd went over and knelt down before her
Holding t'sword she said arise Sir Syd
But he stayed knelt down, quite motionless
He hadn't got up when she'd bid

Then Her Majesty repeated the command to him
Thinking that Syd hadn't heard
He stayed down in front of the Sovereign
Arise she said for the third

I quickly went over to t'Sovereign
And explained that our motionless gent
Had only worked for t'local skinflint
So he didn't know what arise meant!!