THE SAD FATE OF DR NO'S YES MAN
by
Monty Wells

You may remember sometime
Many years ago
A man who tangled with James Bond
The villainous Dr No .

Before his final curtain
And untimely end was met
He lived in a marble mansion
In the uplands of Tibet

Although he lived in splendour
Getting servants he found hard
All he had was a sherpa Fi Yah
And a donkey in the yard

Now Fi Yah and the donkey
Were friends in a manner born
And every Monday (Shopping day)
They were up at the crack of dawn

Down the mountainside together
From rock to rock they'd hop
To the nearest sherpa village
To shop at the Co-op.

And all the people knew them
The impression that they gave
Was that they were inseparable
Just like Chas and Dave

Then one day ,Calamity!
No awoke to see
No one at his bedside
No servant with his tea

He went along to Fi Yah's room
Not knowing what to do
When he arrived he found him
Bunged up with Asian Flu

"Oh Dr No I feel so ill
Said Fi Yah with a moan
"I cant go shopping with this cold
So send the moke alone

Dr No agreed with him
'Twas the best he could arrange
He gave the donkey the right cash
So he couldn't lose the change

He also gave him the shopping list
And his ear a friendly rub
Said "Go on boy. Get down the shops
And fetch back this weeks grub

Now when the villagers all saw
This lonely little chap
Trotting down the street alone
They realised some mishap

They murmured to each other
Forecasting doom so dire
"What is wrong. Something's amiss
There's No's moke without Fi Yah.