When I were a lad I had me a dog
He were honest and faithfull and good
And if I told him sit then I knew for a fact
That sooner or later he would.

One morning I fell in the river
And I thought I'd be certain to drown
Old Faithfull were barking and wagging his tail
And when I floated by he sat down.

Next day I were out hunting rabbits
He just sat and he watched with a grin
And when I were knackered and ready to drop
He put out his fag and joined in.

Well the years fast did roll and old Faithfull grew old
And one day he were laid out in't sand
So I knelt down beside him and cradled his head
And the swine took a lump out me hand.

Then one day the doctor came to me said
"Next time that there's trouble wi't pet
Please don't send for me I'm a doctor
What you need to send for is vet!"

I said "Now that you're famous you're choosey
Young fella you'd best watch your step
It were different with young Elvis Presley
When he had same trouble with Shep"

Well old Faithfull's gone where the good doggies go
And no more will he be suffering
There'll be no fleas to bite him no cats to scatch him
And he won't hear the Rolling Stones sing.

So all you young lads heed my warning
If you're thinking of getting a dog
He might just turn out like old Faithfull
So take my advice... GET A FROG!