HOW BILL BREAM WON THE VICTORIA CROSS
by
Walter Stanford

The man in the oil-skin garb sighed hard,
As he looked at his empty mug
Then spat three times, and from left to right
He shifted a juicy plug
Anon, as he sat, with his tar-stained hands
Reflectively he caressed
A Maltese Cross of simple bronze
That hung on his manly chest.

When a voice said, "What ha' yer got there, Bill?"
"The Victoria Cross," says he
"What I won on the night the Shong Long Wong
Went down in '63."
And the Landlord said, "It¹s early yet boys,
Tell 'em the story, Bill."
(Of course they¹d heard it a score of times,
But it helped to amuse them still).

So, the hero's mug being promptly filled
With a fresh supply of ale.
He gulped it down in one
And told them the following tale...
"You see, me 'earties, 'twas like this 'ere
As I was a-finishing tea
That awful night, when I won
This 'ere, in December '43.

I heard a knock at the door, I did,
And old Jim Bowline shout
'Ere a wessel's struck on the Silver Sands
And they¹re gettin' the life-boat out
So I lets 'im in, and, by Gorm,
The wind that night so 'ard it blew
That the gust what came took
All the bloomin¹ tea things up the flue.

Then I slipped into me oily togs
And off goes I with Jim
But the gale blowed 'im in a public 'ouse
That¹s the last I see of 'im.
When I gets down to the life-boat 'ouse
The skipper, he says, "'Ere Bream
"The stoker says it¹ll take two hours
Afore 'e can get up steam."

"We ain¹t got time for that," says I,
"Why look 'ere, man alive
We'll 'ire a pair from the stables 'ere
And I¹ll undertake to drive."
So the steeds was brought and 'arnessed on
They plunged in the boilin' foam
When the skipper, 'e says, "Ere turn back, Bream
I left my pipe at 'ome."

We takes 'im back, an 'e goes off 'ome
And 'e don¹t turn up no more
"Gorm this!" says I "Let¹s leave 'im 'ere."
And again we starts from shore
Then comes a splash and the cox'n's voice,
"I'm overboard!" 'e cried
As the near 'orse jibbed at a lump of coal
That was floating on the tide.

Well, we rescued 'im, and arter that
We sailed along all right
But when we got where the ship 'ad been
She¹d disappeared from sight.
So over the side we felt, all round
And the crew began to swear
And they says, "Drive up Bill, lets get 'ome
We shan't find nothing 'ere!"

Just then Tom Slacks, 'e gives a shout
And 'e cries out, "Hi, there stop!
For I¹ve got 'old of 'er larboard portside
Mainbrace mizzen top!"
But just as 'e was a 'aulin' up,
A shark what was down below
Bit poor old Tom in the 'and so hard
'E 'ad to let 'er go.

And arter that we finds no sign
I says to old Jack Delf,
"Look 'ere, I¹ll dive in the stormy main
And I¹ll fetch 'er up myself."
So, in I plunged, and down like lead
I goes in the seething wet
Where I bumped me 'ead on the ocean floor
You can feel the bump 'ere yet.

It was 'orrible dark, as I felt about
But no ship could I feel
So a match I strikes and peerin' round
I spotted her upturned keel.
I shouts to me mates at the top, "Righto!"
And they shouts "Righto!" again
And I makes for the surface
'Oldin¹ on to 'er windlass chain

I stepped on board and I 'auled 'er up
And "Bravo Bill" they cried
As arter jib, with a piece of rope
To our bowsprit boom I tied.
The 'orses gets to the shore at last
And we 'auls 'er high and dry
And we finds as she's a Chinese craft
From the port of Li Dam Li.

When we read 'er name, we thought at first
As 'ow we must be wrong
'Twas the Chinese Emp'rors private yacht
And 'er name was 'Long Shong Wong'
'Er crew we takes, and two by two
Their pigtails long we tie
And 'ang them up on a clothes line there
In the lifeboat 'ouse to dry.

And the followin' mornin' that celestial
Captain and his crew
Was walkin' about and talkin'
And they all looked good as new.
The Emp'ror wasn't on board 'imself
'E hadn¹t come out that cruise
But 'e sent for me, for an interview
As soon as 'e Œeard the news.

And 'e says, "Bill Bream, you¹re a man, you are
You are, by the big pink joss."
And then, with 'is own imper'al 'ands
Pinned on me breast the Cross
And Tom Slacks 'ere, 'e can bear me out
And 'e'll say if I¹ve told you wrong
As to what I done in '52
At the wreck of the Wong Shong Long.