Some three years ago I was working
One hot summer's day in July
A sharpening the lightning conductor
On a chimney three hundred feet high

I got through the job pretty quickly
And was just a-preparing to stop
When I took a fat-headed motion
To stand on my head on the top.

So I climbed up the lightning-conductor
And was just glancing-like round the place
When I felt the whole jigger go swaying
Then bend down and hang over space.

The shock made me let go my hold, sir,
But by some miraculous chance
Two spikes of the lightning-conductor
Got fouled in the seat of my pants

There I hung like a fowl on a spit, sir,
With sweat running down me in streaks
And I saw my whole life pass before me
As I thought of the age of my breeks.

  There was only one thing gave me hope, sir,
Or I should have fainted I'm sure
Those pants had been patched up with sail-cloth
Some two or three evenings before.

I bawled like the dickens at first, sir,
But very soon altered my mind
For each time I let out a yell, sir,
The stitches went cracking behind.

Besides, sir, a-yelling was useless
I was working alone, sir, you see
And there wasn't a soul in the fact'ry
As dared have come up there to me.

So I swung, with my blood fairly frozen
Though the day was oppressively warm
And to add to my perilous plight, sir,
I saw we were in for a storm.

The sky became blacker and blacker
And then with an ear-splitting sound
The tempest burst forth in its fury
And lightning blazed fitfully round!

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