MEMORIES OF WATERLOO
by
Cyril Percival and
Cuthbert Clarke (1930)
performed by
Warren Hastings
 What's that you called me? 'Old Timer?'
I'm not goin' to say it ain't true
Don't mind if I do 'ave a pint sir, 
Though it ain't like the old time brew. 

'Ere's my best respects for yer 'ealth, sir, 
I always drops in 'ere for two...
'Cause this 'ere pub's called 'Dook o' Wellington', 
Which reminds me of WaterIoo. 

Do I remember it? Not arf! 
I don't see no call for surprise
I may be just going on ninety, 
My 'ead's clear when memories do rise. 

I served with the Dook from the start, sir, 
A youngster just bursting with pride, 
I can see it as clear as today, sir, 
When the Dook and I took our first ride.

'Ow the guards envied me on that day, sir, 
Down the line standing by the Dook's side
And they all tried 'ard to be chosen 
For behind the Dook to ride. 

Together we faced many dangers, 
But always we won our way through, 
I remember that charge through the snowdrift 
On the journey to Waterloo. 

We've been through 'ail and fog, sir, 
And nights dark enough for a spook, 
With the guard behind acheering 
For my pluck and the Iron Dook. 

We've dashed down the line at a run, sir, 
Without any fear for the worst, 
And sometimes we worked at such pressure 
The Dook 'as been fit to burst. 

We fought many battles together, 
But nothing we ever went through 
Could compare with the records we made, sir, 
From the coast to Waterloo. 

Times 'ave changed since them days, sir, 
With aeroplanes, motors, and so 
When the old dook was finished, it broke my 'eart 
And they told me that I'd have to go. 

There's a new dook about so they tell me, 
Just an idea to keep up the name 
They can say what they like 'bout the new 'un, 
But believe me, the old dook was game! 

What's that, sir, where are me medals? 
Don't chip in-the story you'll spoil, 
I was just going to say that they're thinking 
Of runnin' the new dook on oil! 

'Oo's a liar?... I never said soldier! 
I've a pension-I'm not kiddin' you-
The old 'Iron Dook' was my engine 
What I drove to and from Waterloo!! 
The end