A.B. ab
 
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A big fat man with paunch immense said he wished he was thinner,
Because they charged him eighteen pence for every shilling dinner.
One day he sought the fish shop man and worked him on a different plan,
Said he, 'Now how much must I pay if I stay here and eat all day?'
The man said, 'Well, say fifteen bob,' But he lost money by the job,
For nineteen lobsters and a crab, he tucked into his A B, ab
A B, ab - D O, do - M E N - ab-do-men.

Chorus: A B ab - D O, do - M E N - ab-do-men.
He was the pride of the countryside and all the country showmen.
They buried him because he died but no man knew his no-men,
So it's recorded on a slab, 'Here lies the man with the A B, ab
A B ab - D O, do - M E N - ab-do-men.

One day he sauntered down the strand and carried all before him,
He carried all that stomjack grand, and no one could ignore him.
Two thieves said they'd give him the knock, said they, 'We'll do him for his clock.'
They followed him about all day, where there's a will there is a way,
A big gold chain hung from his fob, and how d'ye think they did the job,
They gave him one in the A B, ab - D O, do - M E N - ab-do-men.

Chorus: A B ab - D O, do - M E N - ab-do-men.
He was the pride of the countryside and all the country showmen.
They buried him because he died but no man knew his no-men,
So it's recorded on a slab, 'Here lies the man with the A B, ab
A B ab - D O, do - M E N - ab-do-men.

To africa he went to show his half a ton of jelly,
And then old stomjack said he'd go to fight the Matebelly -
he started off to Mr Rhodes, his corporation made two loads,
Said he, 'I'm going to make a raid, the Negroes will be all afraid,
But they all laughed when they saw him come,
And said he'd swallowed the soldiers drum;
And a big black chief gave him a stab with a great big spear in his
A B ab - D O, do - M E N - ab-do-men.

Chorus: A B ab - D O, do - M E N - ab-do-men.
He was the pride of the countryside and all the country showmen.
They buried him because he died but no man knew his no-men,
So it's recorded on a slab, 'Here lies the man with the A B, ab
A B ab - D O, do - M E N - ab-do-men.

 
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Written and composed by Harry Hunter & Geo. Le Brunn - 1896
Performed by George Robey (1869-1954)
From monologues.co.uk Music Hall Lyrics Collection
 
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