AFTER THE SHOW
 
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On the stage the show has ended and the band has played 'The Queen'
To the pub the tired scene shifters wander for a change of scene
Now the Music Hall is over and the 'gods' are coming out
'What O Billy, here, stand a 'tiddlly' Ria, 'Arry!' hear them shout
Now a parson creeps with caution from the stalls and smile a smole
Of the ballet thinks, and murmurs most 'recherche' pon my soul
Hansom up! allow me lady. Growler up! twelve city clerks
Drive off in an old four-wheeler, full of song and full of larks.

Chorus: After the show is over, after the curtains fall
Dark is the big theatre, gloomy the music-hall
Homeward in joy and sadness artistes and audience go
Life's a long play but we end it someday, after the show.


'Tis a portable Theatre, Dirtington-upon-the-Mud
And the actors are performing dramas full of deeds of blood
Parts! why bless your souls, they have none, one comes on and says Ha Ha
Then the other cries 'Stand Villain', kills him and says 'Tra-la-la.'
They will talk of lands and money and a paper banquet spread
Knowing that when the sharing out comes, they won't have a bob a head
Supper-time to cook a kipper see the Queen throw off her silks
While the King says, 'Oh! here dash it, Yes, methinks 'twill run to whelks.'

Chorus:

Crowds are in the Grand Theatre ready at the fun to yell
Jones the pet comedian's on now but he isn't going well
Hazily his part he mutters, hisses from the 'gods' resound
Till poor Jones breaks down completely and the boss in wrath comes round
'Jones, you're drunk,' No, Don't say that sir, what's upset me don't you know
My poor wife is nearly dying. Thoughts of her have spoilt my show.'
Ah, thank Heaven, the last act's over, home he goes in fear and dread
Mounts the stairs 'Great God' he murmurs 'All too late, my darling's dead.

Chorus:

By the stage door stands an old man, muttering in a maudlin way
Then the stage-door keeper spies him, 'Now old rags, just clear away.'
'Rags you call me' and the old man lifts his drink stained Haggard face
''Rags' ha, ha, tis true but one day I starred in this very place.'
'What has done it? drink I curse it, yet I cannot do without.'
'Give me drink one glass of whiskey.' Then the leading man comes out
'Sir! what James! Great Heavens! You're starving
Come with me, no, save your breath.'
'Just one shilling' and the old man creeps away to drink and death.

Chorus:
 
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Written and composed by E.W. Rogers
Performed by Arthur Lennard - (1867-1954)
From monologues.co.uk Music Hall Lyrics Collection
 
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