AFTER YOU WITH THAT!
 
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Has it ever occurred to you, when you were toddling out,
To watch the mighty, moving throng bustling all about?
Once I went for an evening stroll, then called in a cosy bar,
I thought I should like a tasty drink as well as a nice cigar.
I ordered a whisky, hot,
A gentleman on the spot,
Then tried to borrow the lot,
I said, when I gave him a dot,

Chorus: 'After you with that!
After you with that!
Pardon my little intrusion,
I think there's a little delusion,
The whisky's awfully nice,
Just right for an aristocrat;
Allow me to tell you I bought it to drink,
So after you with that!'

Has it ever occurred to you, when at a dance or 'hop,'
To watch the tasty, waisty girls smiling—flipperty-flop?
Once I went to a local ball, the dear wife went with me,
When I strolled back from the smoking room I found her on some body’s knee;
I said to myself, 'What-ho!'
That gentleman I don't know!
He'll simply have to go!
Then said, as I struck him a blow,

Chorus: 'After you with that!
After you with that!
Pardon my little intrusion,
I think there's a little delusion,
The lady's awfully nice;
You seem to enjoy the chat,
Allow me to tell you she's married to me,
So after you with that!'

Has it ever occurred to you, when you were out to dine,
To watch the waiters to and fro carrying courses fine?
Once I went to a glorious feed, with gentlemen up-to-date,
There was every dish you'd need and this was your humble’s fate.
I sat by the carver’s chair
He didn't observe me there,
I felt that I must prepare,
So said, as I wanted a share,

Chorus: 'After you with that!
After you with that!
Pardon my little intrusion,
I’ve come to the sudden conclusion;
I'd like a piece off the top,
Including a slice of fat,
I’m keeping my eye on the 'parson’s nose,
So after you with that!'

 
PDF Sheet Music
 
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Written and composed by Scott Mackenzie
Performed by Arthur Roberts (1852-1933)
From monologues.co.uk Music Hall Lyrics Collection
 
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