ALL OF A SUDDEN HE STOPPED
 
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Muggins went out on a motor car once
At motor-car work he was only a dunce.
Ran over a p'liceman and mangled a tyke,
But still kept going as flash as you like.
It's really believed he'd be going still
But, quite unexpected, he came to a hill.
And went flying down it in wonderful style
Was beating all records for over a mile.

Chorus: Then all of a sudden he stopped,
All of a sudden he stopped.
He met a brick wall at the bottom, that's all!
Then all of a sudden he stopped.

A charity concert was given last week
And several friends were invited to speak.
One after another old ladies did spout,
On all sorts of things they knew nothing about.
Then up got a man with a voice like a horn,
Big things in his head, and his trousers in pawn.
For over an hour they allowed him to jaw,
Till he said, 'I'll now sing a song on the War!'

Chorus: Then all of a sudden he stopped,
All of a sudden he stopped.
A brick from the rear caught him under the ear,
Then all of a sudden he stopped.

My brother Mike often whispered to me,
That something 'high up in the world' he would be.
So in for the steeplejack bus'ness he went,
'High up in the world' on a job he was sent.
A gale it sprang up and the poor chap was hurled
Clean out of his seat, and 'came down in the world.'
To those who stood watching and saw him descend,

Chorus: Then all of a sudden he stopped,
All of a sudden he stopped.
He spun round and round, till he came to the ground,
Then all of a sudden he stopped.

Servant girls are - what they are is well known,
And our servant girl's got ideas of her own.
Smashing the crocks for a time was her boast,
Now sliding down bannisters pleases her most.
I caught her this morning - she didn't see me,
The way she enjoyed it was charming to see.
She slid down the bannisters, shouting, 'Hooray'
As quick as greased lightning, well, part of the way,

Chorus: Then all of a sudden he stopped,
All of a sudden he stopped.
A little tin-tack chanced to lay in her track
Then all of a sudden he stopped.

 
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Written and composed by T.W. Connor - 1902
Performed by Alf Gibson (1860-1920)
From monologues.co.uk Music Hall Lyrics Collection
 
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