ALL THE GIRLS ARE AFTER ME
 
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Joe Joskins toddled up to London Town
He'd never been to the place before
In Oxford Street, a lady called him a 'Giddy Goat'
Another took the sun-flower from his Sunday coat
Joseph got to Piccadilly, and met two saucy girls in blue
When they grabbed his arm, oh! dear,
Shouted to a p'liceman near
'Oh! come and save me, do.'

Chorus: 'All the girls are after me -
Everywhere I go - follow me in a row
I've tried to dodge them - but somehow I can't get free
All the girls are after me
They poach upon my preserves, and get upon my nerves
Oh! there must be something about me nice
All the girls are after me.'


Jim Johnson went down to the silvery sea
Oh! there were plenty of girls about
And every morn, he trotted down to have a dip
As he bobbed in the foam, the girls around would skip
Once, he swam right out to sea,
There, 'Come back,' then shouted boatman Joe
'No, I shan't come back,' said Jim,
'I shall do the Channel swim.
These ladies tease me so.'

Chorus:

Young Parker went and joined the London P'lice
Outside The Houses of Parliament
One night, round him some suffragettes began to swarm
They knocked his helmet off and tore his uniform
Parker, feeling very shaky, rushed in the Commons then and there
Winston Churchill stopped his speech,
When he heard the p'liceman screech
'Oh! hide me, do, somewhere.'

Chorus:
 
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Written and composed by A.J. Mills & Bennett Scott - 1912
 
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