AMERICAN BEEF
 

You see a poor fellow in terrible grief,
And my trouble is caused by American Beef;
My tale I will tell you, and I'll be as brief,
As ever I possibly can.
The truth is that I am a butcher by trade,
And I was engaged to a beautiful maid;
But a rival in love and a rival in trade,
Has made me a miserable man. for,

Chorus: I'm withering away like a poor autumn leaf,
My rivals a thief, he's caused all my grief;
He tempted my love with American Beef,
And she thought it was nicer than mine.

In the principal street I had long kept a shop,
Celebrated for steaks or a beautiful chop;
To look at the meat people often would stop,
And amongst them was Mary divine.
Upon me I noticed she quickly got sweet,
And never complained of the price of the meat;
Till a fellow set up in the very same street.
Also in the butchering line.

Chorus:

The shop that he opened was in the same line,
In the very same street and right opposite mine,
One day Mary said, she'd friends coming to dine,
And would try the American Beef.
I told her 'twas nasty and vainly besought
Her not to go over, she'd listen to nought,
But cross'd to my rival, and there and then bought
A sirloin of American Beef.

Chorus:

To deal in American Beef she'd advised,
But the beef and my darlings advice I despised;
Now my custom is gone and the girl I so prized,
And I am in terrible grief.
If I had but kept it I venture to say,
She'd ne'er have had cause to go over the way,
And I might have been her own husband to-day,
Had I sold the American Beef.

Chorus:

Now butchers I hope will take naming by me,
And the wants of the public immediately see;
Don't be independent, or perhaps you may be
Obligated to take a back seat.
For when ladies go shopping they never forget
If a butchers agreeable or not, you may bet,
And they're certain to go where they know they can get
The best and the cheapest of meat.

Chorus:

 
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Written and composed by Arthur Lloyd - 1878
Performed by Arthur Lloyd (1840 - 1904)
From monologues.co.uk Music Hall Lyrics Collection
 
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