ARE YER GOIN' TO HAVE ONE?
 

There's a pet expression which is always on my brain,
Every time I say it I repeat it once again;
When I meet a pal I haven't seen for many a day,
First I'll grip him by the hand and then you'll hear me say:

Chorus: Are yer goin' to have one? Come on my old son.
You look as though you're in a bit of trouble,
Have a glass full, come on you rascal,
A single isn't any good, we're going to have a double,
Mind you, 'when', there you are then!
You mustn't jib, you've only just began.

Out in America they've gone dry,
What would they say if they heard you cry -
I-te-tid-dle-y-i-te-i,
Are you going to have one?

Lloyd George he one morning hurried off to see the king,
Wish to discuss with him a most important thing.
While he was explaining it, the king said, "Wait a bit!
I've a more important thing to ask you, this is it!"

Chorus: Are yer goin' to have one? Come on my old son.
You look as though you're in a bit of trouble,
Have a glass full, come on you rascal,
A single isn't any good, we're going to have a double,
Mind you, 'when', there you are then!
You mustn't jib, you've only just began.

If in the night you hear baby sigh,
Give him the bottle and then you cry -
I-te-tid-dle-y-i-te-i,
Are you going to have one?

Jones had had a drink or two more than his proper share,
When he left his club he wandered to Trafalgar Square.
Climbed up Nelson's column with a bottle full of port,
Put his arm through Nelson's and cried, "Here you are, old sport!"

Chorus: Are yer goin' to have one? Come on my old son.
You look as though you're in a bit of trouble,
Have a glass full, come on you rascal,
A single isn't any good, we're going to have a double,
Mind you, 'when', there you are then!
You mustn't jib, you've only just began.

I bet teetotalers, when they die,
Would give a dollar to hear you cry -
I-te-tid-dle-y-i-te-i,
Are you going to have one?

 
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Written and composed by Sam May & Alan Martyn - 1922
Performed by Sam Mayo (1875-1938)
From monologues.co.uk Music Hall Lyrics Collection
 
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