THE ARMY OF TODAY'S ALRIGHT
 
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When people tell you that the army's not complete
It goes to show - that they don't know
I say the army's simply perfect, can't be beat
I know it's true - because I do
Some time back it seemed to me
Thing's weren't all they used to be
There was one thing that was wanted only one
And of course that thing was done

Chorus: So it's all right now, there's no need to worry any more
I saw the army wasn't strong
Everything was wrong till the day I came along
Then the band played, and they all hoorayed
The guns fired a salvo of delight
I joined the army yesterday so the army of today's all right.
Yes, it's right.

I found the Colonel of the Regiment in the dumps
Said I “What for?” - He simply swore
Oh crumbs! the language! well he let it out in lumps
It was a shock - it stopped the clock
When his breath came back a bit
He explained the cause of it
“What we need here is some ginger, sir” said he
I said “That means you need me”

Chorus: So it's all right now, there's no need to worry any more
I saw the army wasn't strong
Everything was wrong till the day I came along
Then the band played, and they all hoorayed
“You've saved us” said Kitchener with delight
I joined the army yesterday so the army of today's all right.
Yes, it's right


Boys, take my tip and join the army right away
The money's good - not much but good
Who knows, perhaps you'll be a general some day
Remember chaps - I said perhaps
But though we're in need of you
Don't think any old stuff will do
In the army, for the future, there will be
There will only be big strong chaps like me

Chorus: So it's all right now, there's no need to worry any more
I saw the army wasn't strong
Everything was wrong till the day I came along
Then the band played, and they all hoorayed
The Kaiser, they say, went deadly white
I joined the army yesterday so the army of today's all right.


Girls, are the soldiers as attractive as they were
A-while ago? - don't answer no
If there's another kind of fellow you prefer
Well I maintain - you want the cane
But, girls if you're fancy free
Say, how do you fancy me
You would find me satisfactory, I should think
Did I hear some dear girl wink? What?

Chorus: Then it's all right now, there's no need to worry any more
I saw the army wasn't strong
Everything was wrong till the day I came along
Then the band played, and they all hoorayed
The War Office woke up with a fright
I joined the army yesterday so the army of today's all right.
 
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Written and composed by Fred W. Leigh & Kenneth Lyle - 1914
Performed by Vesta Tilley (1864-1952)
 
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