ARTFUL ALLITERATIONS
 
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Chung Ching had a chow-chow, a cute little cuss
But his tail in the tramline he'd trail it
Said Chung, 'Your tail's taught me it ought to be short
So he curled that cur's tail to curtail it
But the dog license man to the Chinaman ran
Said, 'Chung, you must license you bow-wow
But Chung wouldn't pay, and on licensing day
That Chinaman chewed up his chow-wow.

Refrain: His chow-wow the chinaman cheerfully chewed
'Twas a dog tax evasion erratic
But it's glutinous glands to his gizzard got glued
Now his dialogue's daily dogmatic.


A tutor from Tooting, who once used to toot
On a flute, took a tour once to Tunis
'Neath the moon's silver hue, he said, 'Dear I love you.'
When under a yew he met Eunice
That tutor he taught her to toot on the flute
And together they tootled at Bootle
But his artful young maid said, 'The wedding March played'
Now they've ten little toddlers who tootle.

Refrain: Yes, the tutor has ten little toddlers that toot
Nine smart little sons and a daughter
But his wife is a slut, and the tutor says 'Tut'
When he tots up the toots that he taught her.


When Annie saw aniseed anywhere sold
To get some she'd walk there or 'bike it'
She bought some one day, but her sister said 'Eh'
Oh, I've never see'd aniseed like it.'
Liza said, 'Annie, we'll analyse quick
This aniseed.' Annie said, 'Do so.'
In a boiler 'twas thrust,but the boiler went bust
And they sailed to join Robinson Crusoe.

Refrain: The aniseed Annie saw hasn't been seen
Nor the sisters that analysed either
But where'ere Annie lies, you can bet Liza lies
And I'm not telling any lies either.


A Missie named Cissie, a kissy-cheeked Maid
Had an invite to fancy dress dances
But a furbelows fanciful she'd not a frill
To fandango in feminine fancies
Said she, 'I've no dress for that ball, but I guess
I shan't cancel it 'cos of my corsage.'
So she wrapped her form in some nice gold-beater's skin
And sailed off to that ball as a sausage.

Refrain: When sis as a sausage serenely sailed in
Said the dancers 'Whatever is sis in?'
But she did such a grin that she 'busted the skin'
And the rest of the mystery's missin'.
 
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Performed by Ben Albert (1876-1925)
 
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