THE AWKWARD SQUAD
 
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I am an awkward soldier of an awkward sort of band
There's nobody more awkwarder throughout the blessed land
I've awkward togs, and awkward tile, and awkwardly I'm shod
You cannot lick the awkwardest of all the awkward squad.

Chorus: Then shoulder arms, and march and march away
We never fight, although we take the pay
No fields of glory ever have we trod
Tho' we march, march, march in the awkward squad.

Our ensign was a chummy, but he made a sweep of that
Our first lieutenant used to deal in food for dog and cat
For bread and cheese and injins now they goes it Tommy Dodd
There ain't a bit of pride about the famous awkward squad.

Chorus: Then shoulder arms, and march and march away
We never fight, although we take the pay
No fields of glory ever have we trod
Tho' we march, march, march in the awkward squad.

You should have seen our gracious Queen, as we marched awkward by
She picked me out at once, and on this coster cast her eye
It wouldn't do for me to wink, and so I gave a nod
We're gentlemen, and act as sich, although an awkward squad.

Chorus: Then shoulder arms, and march and march away
We never fight, although we take the pay
No fields of glory ever have we trod
Tho' we march, march, march in the awkward squad.

 
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Parody of Henry H. Walker's 1859 original.
 
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