THE BARBER'S APPENTICE BOY
 
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Of William Brown of Horselydown,
The Barbers Apprentice boy;
I now will sing a tragedy,
Of this hibity hobety hoy:
Ah! foolish lad, he fell in love,
With the cook, but she was coy;
And turned her nose up with disdain,
At the Barber's Apprentice boy.

Chorus: Then Hokey Pokey Winkey wum,
It did the mind destroy.
Of William Brown of Horseleydown,
The Barber's Apprentice boy.

Now love so run in William's head,
Mark what he did, instead,
Of shaving hair off people's chins,
He'd lather and shave their head;
In place of oil to grease his hair,
It's no more strange than true,
His wig it stood up on end,
For he oil'd his hair with glue.

Chorus:

Said he, my love, my love is strong,
I love you night and day;
Than cease to love, I wish my love,
That I might turn to clay.
The moon and stars shall tumble down,
And fleas shall me annoy,
If ever you hear a word untrue
From the Barber's Apprentice boy.

Chorus:

The lamplighter that lit the lamp,
That hung in front of the house,
Would open the bed-room window,
And creep in like a mouse;
To court the cook who every night,
In the kitchen would coax him down;
She loved this man and not William Brown,
The Barbers Apprentice boy.

Chorus: Hokey Pokey Winkey wum,
I will myself destroy,
Cried William Brown of Horseleydown,
The Barber's Apprentice boy.

Said William Blown, "I won't stand this,"
So he rushed down on the cook;
He stabbed her with the barber's pole,
Then from the shop he took,
A pound of candles in a bunch,
Then opened his mouth so wide,
He swallowed the lot, then heaved a sigh,
Sang two or three songs and died.

Chorus: Then Hokey Pokey Winkey wum,
He did himself destroy;
And that's the end of the faithless cook,
And the Barber's Apprentice boy.
 
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Written, composed and performed by George Leybourne (1842-1884)
From monologues.co.uk Music Hall Lyrics Collection
 
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