BECAUSE I LOOK A FOOL
 
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You can't expect a chap like I to know a deal 'bout town
And when folks see me, they say, 'Why, he's just a country clown'
Of course they may be right enough, a fool I look, it's true
But somehow, tho' I'm such a muff, I know a thing or two.

Chorus: Aye, I've come up from the country but I ain't so very green
I know that two and two make four, but twice four ain't fourteen
I've read some things in books at home and learned a lot at school
Folks try to do me - I do them, because I look a fool.


When crossing Lunnon Bridge one night, a chap comes up to me
And takes his hat off most polite, 'Excuse me , sir,' said he
'I know the face beneath that hat - aren't you my cousin Joe?'
'Why, yes I am,' says I quite pat, 'I'm up to see the Show.'

Chorus: Aye, I've come up from the country but I ain't so very green
Them five pun' notes I've seen before and just as crisp and clean
The 'Bank of Elegance' I know, we leaned the game at school
They all put confidence in me because I look a fool.


I've got a healthy appetite, it costs a lot to keep
Aye, I could eat from morn till night, and even in my sleep
When I come up to Lunnon once in t' Restaurant I goes
They thow't as I were reg'ar dunce, this little story shows.

Chorus: Aye, I've come up from the country but I ain't so very green
I know that two and two make four, but twice four ain't fourteen
I've read some things in books at home and learned a lot at school
Folks try to do me - I do them, because I look a fool.
 
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Written, composed and performed by R.A. Roberts (1866-1932)
From monologues.co.uk Music Hall Lyrics Collection
 
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