THE BEST OF FRIENDS MUST PART
 
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Young Spifkins and Jones, two smart clerks in the city,
Have been on the 'ran-dan' and feel just all right.
The pubs are all closed, so they at the corner,
For two hours they're saying goodnight.
They talk about old times just like two old women,
It fairly amuses the policeman hard by,
Till suddunely Jones talks about getting home, and
He says to his chum with a sigh,

Chorus: "We've been the best of friends for years, many years!
We've shared our troubles and we've shared our debts,
Shared everything, even our cigarettes;
But you must get home and I must get home,
The last bus is gone for a start.
What's the timew? Half-past two!
Jack, old boy, toodle-oo, the best of friends must part."

The summer is dawning as Buggins, the actor,
With dignity walks in a pawnbroker's shop.
His overcoat, fur-lined, a garment quite shabby,
The old boy is anxious to 'pop'.
As he places it gently down on the counter,
In tragical tones he exclaims, with a sigh,
"You've been a good pal to me many a winter,
But now I must bid you good bye!"

Chorus: "We've been the best of friends for years, many years!
Down the gay Strand I've looked someone of note,
Dressed up so smart in my fur overcoat;
But if I wore you in July 'twould give
The actors I know quite a start.
When the summer is o'er I'll redeem you once more,
But the best of friends must part."

Just outside the Law Courts Miss Mabel meets Gussie;
The pair had been sweethearts for quite a long while.
But Gussie proved fickle, result, breach of promise;
Now Mabel greets him with a smile.
Says she, "Gussie, dear, a kind judge and a jury
Have given their verdict in favour of me;
Some other girl maybe will claim your affections,
But I will have your L. S. D.

Chorus: "We've been the best of friends for years—many years,
You used to call me your angel! your pet!
Now you are anxious to skip from the net.
For that you must pay five hundred in cash
To patch up my poor broken heart.
Don't do anything rash, but just pay up the cash,
For the best of friends must part."

The scene is the Transvaal, the pale moon shines down on
A small band of Khaki boys, caught in a trap.
The bullets fly round, one by one they go under
The penalty for the mishap.
But two now remain, and they fight on and fight on,
Till down from his saddle one brave trooper slips.
"I'm done for at last, Jack," he whispers, as tightly
The hand of his comrade he grips;—

Chorus: "We've been the best of friends for years, many years!
Now it's all over with me, dear old Jack!
But, don't forget, if you get safely back,
Tell mother I died with face to the foe,
'Twill cheer up her poor aching heart.
Mount your saddle, Jack, fly! never mind me... good bye!
The best of friends must part."

 
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Written and composed by A.J. Mills & Bennett Scott - 1903
Performed by George Leyton (1864-1948)
From monologues.co.uk Music Hall Lyrics Collection
 
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