THE BLIGHTED BARBER
 
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There lived once not long ago,
In that suburb called Pimlico
A servant girl who's name I heard,
Was Hannah Maria Susannah Bird
She fell in love, as females will,
With a hair-dresser who's name was Bill
He was a likely young man to fascinate the girls
And his hair hung down his back in large black curls.

Chorus: This is not a comedy, but a deep tragedy
Fe, fi, fo, fum, fol de riddle day.


Now William was the nicest of fellahs,
But Mary Ann was most awfully jealous
She made him promise that he never would
Cut a lady's hair or she'd cut him for good
Now Willaim altho' he'd an eye to saving
He cut hair-dressing and took to shaving
While Mary Ann her wages sank
In the Moorfields branch of the British Bank.

Chorus:

Now things went on for a year and a day
And they used to walk out regularlay
And if all went as they both thought right
They agreed to be married on Sunday fortnight
One night Mary going out to tea
Passing by Willaim's shop she see
Such a sight as nearly lost her senses
And this is where the horrible part commences.

Chorus:

Behind the counter was Willaim there
Cutting and curling of a lady's hair
Which had such an effect on her feelings, they say
She turned pale blue, and fainted away
They carried her home when she rekivered
Tho' all the way there, she shook and she shivered
Then worse than any heroine of Douiglas Herald
She poisoned herself with a Family Herald.

Chorus:

When William heard the news, he exclaimed, 'Oh Lor.'
And his hair out by pailsful he tore
He saw it all as clear as air
She saw him a combing of a dummy's hair
He grew pale and thin, neglecting his supper
Went under Banting, and read Martin Tupper
Till at last to give his feeling relief
He choked himself with a bit of jerked beef.

Chorus:

Mary Ann was laid in her grave hard by
At the corner of Be-rompton Ceme-try
While William's remains, if you'd like tio see 'em
Are to be found in the British Museum
The barber's shop fell to decay
'Twas haunted by their ghosts, they say
Till Dircks and Pepper became aware of 'em
Took out their patent and exhibited the pair of 'em

Chorus:
 
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Written and composed by Robert Coote & Frank W. Green - 1873
Performed by Arthur Lloyd (1840-1904)
 
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