BLOWED IF FATHER AIN'T COMMENCED TO WORK
 
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For twenty years our family has lived in Bunker's Yard,
And always been considered there as class,
And, though we'd not disgaced ourselves by going out to work,
We always had a good supply of brass.
The neighbourhood looked up to us, for all our family
Had done more time than any in the yard,
There wasn't one amongst us, from the biggest to the least,
Who hadn't had a go at six months' hard!

Chorus: But father has disgraced the family,
Though the horrid truth I'd like to shirk;
When none of us had ever done a stroke in all our lives,
Blow'd if father ain't commenc'd to work!

Now Bunker's Yard was what you'd call a credit to the town,
There wasn't any street we couldn't fight;
Two coppers used to be on duty there throughout the day,
But twenty daresn't come down there at night.
The folks down at the bottom, were, well just a trifle 'thick',
There wasn't anything at which they'd stop,
But as you went up higher they got thicker every house,
And our house was the last one at the top.

Chorus:

I shan't forget the day when we received the awful news
That father had been out and got a job,
And everyday before a big steam-roller now, he walks,
A-carrying a flag, so help me bob!
His family's going to talk to him to make him mend his ways,
And if he's saucy we will give him leather,
And if he disgraces us by working anymore,
Why, we'll cut him and disown him altogether.

Chorus:

Since father has disgraced the family by starting work,
We seem as tho' we've all gone to the bad;
My brother Bill's teetotal and I'm a slavey now,
That just shows you the awful 'knock' we've had.
If father really wants to toil, why don't he get a job
Where there's no work to do and pay is great,
Some kind of biz. where he gets paid for talking folks to death,
For instance, say a labour candidate.

Chorus:

 
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Written and composed by Herbert Darnley - 1897
Performed by Miss Louie Freear (1873-1939)
From monologues.co.uk Music Hall Lyrics Collection
 
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