THE BOARDING HOUSE
 
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You'd never think I once was fat, and had lots of flesh to spare
But when you look at this and that - you'll notice a difference there
So those who have superfluous flesh, and wish to be thin like me
Can be slender and slight if they spend a fortnight
At a Boarding House by the sea.

Chorus: Oh, what a wreck! Look at my neck! Ain't I a bag of bones
Why did I go to a Boarding House, instead of with Mrs Jones
Oh, ain't I thin! nothing but skin, I feel just as weak as a mouse
For I found, day by day, I was fading away
Through my stay at a Boarding House.

I really think I should have died had I stayed another week
The way I was put out inside - well, it meant a narrow squeak
And when the time arrived to depart, and I crawled into the train
I gave a long swear and said a short prayer
That I'd never go there again.

Chorus: Oh, what a wreck! Look at my neck! Ain't I a bag of bones
Why did I go to a Boarding House, instead of with Mrs Jones
Oh, ain't I thin! nothing but skin, I feel just as weak as a mouse
For I found, day by day, I was fading away
Through my stay at a Boarding House.

 
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Written and performed by J. Bernard Dickson & Harry Randall - 1904
Performed by Harry Randall (1857-1932)
 
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