BOB BAKER, THE SHOE MAKER
 
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There once lived Bob Baker, by trade a shoemaker,
Whose trade flourished most in wet weather; - hether.
The boys call'd him snob, which quite enraged Bob,
As he hammered away at his leather; - hether.
There lived over the way, a girl I've heard say,
And after her Bob he would dangle, - angle.
She had oh! such a mug, her nose was a pug,
She existed by turning a mangle.- jangle, bangle, tangle, triangle.

Chorus: Singing rum ti tum tum, also tootle tum tay,
In addition to fol de rol liddy,
With la, la,la,la, and ah! ah! ah! ah!
In conclusion ti titty tum tiddy.

Now one night from affright, Bob in bed jumped upright,
By his side sure a ghost to discover; cover.
Said the ghost list I say, be warned while you may
For Miss Polly she loveth another. - other.
Bobby stared with surprise, he could scarce b'lieve his eyes,
His heart it now felt quite a melter; - skelter.
He fell out on the floor, and he then and there swore,
That he'd go in the morning and welt her. - pelter, jelter, melter,

Chorus:

With grief Bobby wept, as he to her house crept,
When who should he see but her cousin; - ousin.
It was no fault of hern, he was doing a turn
At the rate of three ha'pence a dozen; - ozen.
Now the snob with an oath, he rushed upon both.
With his lapstone he soon floored the cousin; - ousin.
Then he drew forth his awl that he'd brought from his stall,
And with it, stabbed Poll in the buzzum, uzzum, cuzzum, duzzum,

Chorus:

When, he found 'em both dead, Bobby blubber'd and said,
Oh! sweet Poll here's an end to your mangling; - angling;
Then he ran off home fast, hung himself to his 'last',
For in the morning, they found him a dangling; - dangling,
So of the night-mare, I pray you'll take care,
'Cos you see how this ended in murther, urther,
Now I've not kept you long, so I'll now end my song,
For I've nothing to say any further. - further, turther, rurther,

Chorus:

 
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Written and composed by Arthur Lloyd - 1873
Performed by Arthur Lloyd (1840-1904)
From monologues.co.uk Music Hall Lyrics Collection
 
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